elvis costello- i want to vanish

i was gonna write some ill advised misogynistic rant (involving my theory that women prefer being treated like semen banks and punching bags ( i will return to this theory )) but i'm just too tired. and i just don't care anymore. i've lost my fight, it seems. i just want to close my eyes for a while. i want to go where there is music, music in the air, and it comes from nowhere, it is faceless, and i am not reminded of everything i have lost. i just want my rest.

alone again, naturally

alone again! what do i call this? a 'breakup'? a severing, of sorts. a parting of ways. oh well, as gregg dulli once sang, 'you coulda seen this shit coming down the hall'.
and really, being alone is my natural state. i should be alone. i can't relax around other people. it just doesn't work. my wires are crossed....sparks fly from the sockets! a man walks into a....a man sticks a fork into.... snap! the lights go out...he is alone in a room....he is perched on a cliff....he sways down the street, arm in arm with whoever can keep him up...sparks are fleeting....psssst....ladies....it's true....sparks from a toaster....sparks from a man...they glitter and fade...and you are left...with... a...broken....appliance...

i am nearly 40 now. i'm beginning to think the monks life is the way to go. i love the company of a woman, true. but it's just too much of a drag when it's over. and what's it all worth in the end, really? eh, i dunno. smarter men then me have asked the question. i bet descartes had a hard time getting laid too. (that's a joke. go ahead. it's ok to laugh).

regardless. 'i have my books, and my poetry to protect me'.

and my precious music.

g'night, rose throat.

RIP jim dickinson

genesis- turn it on again

yep, i like phil collins-era genesis.

well said, etc.

'I'm chained upon the face of time
feelin' full of foolish rhyme
there ain't no dark till something shines
I'm bound to leave this dark behind'- townes van zandt

i'm not great at cheering people up. i'm a negative creep and i see the downside of everything. i am, however, prone to moments of pure joy, and of great hope. this verse from townes van zandt's 'rex's blues' always takes me there. i hope it helps.

smoke- beeper will

i'm an old man now. i'm well past the age of wondering why brilliance is so often ignored and mediocrity is rewarded.

but... there are moments like this...when i wonder...how can they not see...how can they not hear...it's so powerful...like thunder...a lone lightning bolt...it flashes over the fields of dead weeds....and we wonder if we saw it...yes..yes...it was there...because they sky glows...and the stars seem different...and the ground still...rumbles...beneath...our...feet...

blitzen trapper- black river killer