song of the week: dynamite walls-hayden

'everyone's wathcing
for animals crossing
through the part of the glass
that's defrosted'

why do i listen to sad music? i'm a sad person, inherently. not depressed. i can get out of bed. i can hold a conversation with you. i have a wicked sense of humor, i'm told. i've even got some people convinced i'm not a ghost!
i've got ghosts. i keep them in my pocket. i feared them as a kid, but, now, they are my companions.
sad music. it's a comfort. an affirmation? yes, i think that's it. townes van zandt asked a european journalist once, rhetorically, 'you don't think life's sad?'. i thought it was the most beautiful thing he ever said/sang.
and hayden. he has a way of showing the sadness of day to day activities. look at the above quote. how does it make you feel? i think of me, jimmy b., and johnny p., driving up to hancock on a winter night, 2 of us slightly drunk, listening to, probably, billy squire, and alive and loving the moment. and it makes me sad to think of what has occurred between then. and it's just life. nothing more or less than what anyone else has gone through.
we got married.
we had babies.
we got divorced.
we buried children.
fuck.
sometimes it's alot.
....
....
fuck.
....
and some of my friends are going through a mid-life crisis. and i can't see why. everyone that i know, in their 30's, seems to be looking for some BIG reason to life. and there is none. and it's ok. there doesn't have to be. just do your thing. it's over soon enough, and there are enough laughs along the way, i suppose. who cares? why take it so seriously? i'm asking myself that, by the way. cuz i feel like three pounds of shit in a two pound bag.

Miles away or just up ahead
It doesn't matter what,
any of us is looking for
We'll never find it, because
it's not even there

i find that comforting where others find it depressing. it's ok, kids. don't worry so much. you're beating you're head against the wall.
besides, i've watched enough football to know how to run out the clock.
goodnight. i'll put up something happy tomorrow. promise!
by the way kids, this is just the way i be, and no one is to blame. except maybe my brain!!

dynamite walls-hayden

Open your eyes
Put it in drive
get on the road and just go.

City lights
turn the tree lines
and National Park signs
Mountains approach
with small winding roads
and the air turns to falling snow

Miles away or just up ahead.
It doesn't matter what,
Any of us is looking for.
We'll never find it, because
It's not even there.

high beams showing
falling rock warning
construction work, slowing

The engine blazes
The elevation raises
The dynamite walls contain us

everyone's wathcing
for animals crossing
through the part of the glass
that's defrosted

Miles away or just up ahead
It doesn't matter what,
any of us is looking for
We'll never find it, because
it's not even there.

Open your eyes
put it in drive
get on the road and just go.

City lights,
turn the tree lines
and National Park signs.
Mountains approach,
with small winds in the road
and the air turns to falling snow.

dynamite walls-hayden

The engine blazes
the elevation raises
The dynamite walls contain us