miles from nowhere- the only ones

there is staggering beauty everywhere. i saw it on a bus yesterday. i saw it in a restaurant today. i'm hearing it now.
a man walks into a bar....
no.
a man stumbles out of a car...
no.
a man, flat on his back in his room. a rented room in a town he vaguely remembers coming to. years can pass easily. you don't see them coming and you don't feel them pass. there is a fog that helps obscure what is too ugly to look on.
there is mist and there is rain.
there is a man clinging to life.
there is a man pissing his away.

still the beauty.
and you can't escape it. it's why you're here. you've seen it and you can't look away. to go to sleep is to hide from it. to die is to dismiss it. but it can't be ignored. you know it's there and that's where the sorrow comes from. it's there and now you can't find it. it's hiding from you. it doesn't want you.
can't you hear me?
i used to reach for the stars but now i've reformed.....
i'll turn my back to the beauty.
it's too ugly to look on...