drunk < love < cheap trick

drunk is less than love. love is less than cheap trick.
i have been drunk. REALLY drunk. when i was 19 i fooled around with this really pretty girl by the dart boards at pendeltons (ny) on new years eve. i danced on a bar table in new orleans. i woke up on many a floor after laughing myself sick with my mineola drinking buddies. i sweet talked a girl at dimies night in cortland, ny. i played guitar with jimmy b. many times at the p's summer house. also i almost broke rangers paw. drunk. and i played the best all time joke on a sorta girlfriend where i pretended i was in jail. actually psaur did that. and i laughed and laughed. and had a great time.
but there was a price to pay.
the next morning. the sickness. the blankness. the depression.
was it worth it?
i can't answer that. but i don't think it was.

i have been in love. not many times. but some. and it's been wonderful. like the best drunk ever without the shaky stomach. well, there was some shaky stomach, but a different kind. that moment when you look at the girl, out of the blue, and realize you love her. she may not have done anything at all. maybe a way she turned her head. or how her eyes darted around the room.
or maybe the way she tousled your hair.
you know.
it's exhilarating.
but, as you know, it doesn't always last. you want it to. and there is nothing worse than when it doesn't.
um...
ahem....
sigh...
oh well....

i have listened to cheap trick. yeah, that's right. you fuckers want to say something? they're brilliant. and if you don't think so, well then, friend, you're missing something. 'southern girls', 'downed', 'i want you to want me', 'dream police', 'tonight it's you', 'if you want my love', etc. i love 'em all!
but most of all i love 'surrender'.
i was thinking of making my nephews a mixed tape, er, disc.
and, as you know, i take the mix very seriously. it's not just something you toss off. you need to think about it. consider the person you are giving it to. but make sure you don't cater to their tastes. send a message. let them know your current state. i don't know why, but that's important to me.
i thought of my nephews, who i love immeasurably, and who i would like to see happy and healthy their whole lives.
what advice could i give them, musically, that would help them, guide them in the right direction?
if i was feeling dark i could put on richard thompsons 'the end of the rainbow'.

'life looks so rosy from the cradle
but i'll be a friend i'll tell you what's in store
there's nothing at the end of the rainbow
there's nothing to grow up for anymore'

but that would make me a horrible person. thinking it makes me a horrible person.

instead, i would put on cheap tricks 'surrender'. a weird song. really. but the chorus has always inspired me.

'surrender, surrender
but don't give yourself away'.

we all surrender in the end. you may enjoy your life. you may be in a loving relationship. you may have a job you, if not love, don't hate.
but in the end we surrender something.
we learn to accept the daily humiliations.
the hardships.
the day after day...sameness.
and it's ok.
just do something with it.
create something.
with your hands, with writing, with food, with music.
read.
think.
don't give yourself away.

that's what i get from that song. from cheap trick.

i love to get drunk. but there is a price to pay.
i love to be in love. but it, often, doesn't last. and you want it again.
i love cheap trick. i love 'surrender'. and when it's over, and i want it again? i lift the needle and drop it back on the groove.