'sweet jane' and then some

my grandfather had this, uh, grand (for a better choice of of words) record player. it was as tall as me at the time. but i was so much older then. ha. but since, y'know, i've been in love with the scratch and pops. of 78's, y'see. you probly don't know what i'm talking about.
but...
the first time i heard 'sweet jane' was on that box. mike had lou reed's 'rock and roll diary'. and he was way, way too young to have it. he was always way ahead of my time. my biggest musical influence, tho i would never tell him that. he taught me, without telling me, that there was music somewhere else. somewhere else besides the radio. somewhere where you had to search for it. so it became work. something you had to care about. i think about the day i heard 'sweet jane' all the time. i've never told mike about that. i guess he knows it now. it was after my dad died. i don't know how that figures into it. but that song seemed to fill something in me. it made sense. it still does. when nothing else does. thanks, mike. that day changed me.
other music has hit me in similar ways. changed me.
'can't hardly wait'. i've discussed this. you know. it made me make sense of my angst.
the stray cats did it. don't laugh. a guy from long island who made it big. who did things honestly. i worked with a guy who knew setzer and who told me he always dressed like that. when i was 12 i was buying cats imports. did you guys get into bands that intensely, that early? probly not. i needed it. i wanted to know everything about them. i still have those imports. they do a great version of 'my back door' on the 'rebels rule' 12 inch, by the way.
and i got HUGE into the alarm. i still think they're better than U2.
and i remember being tortured, i mean REALLY tortured about whether i should be a bruce fan or an alarm fan. as if i had to choose. i was 12. i chose bruce because i became obsessed with 'nebraska'. oh, side note. if anyone here is thinking about having kids: don't let them listen to 'nebraska' when they are a pre-teen. it may affect their world view.
where was i?
oh, the wonder! the 'sweet jane' moment! do you guys have that moment? if you do let me know. i have that moment every so often. i had it today, actually, listening to dylans 'dreamin' of you'. have you heard it? jesus, you should.
and i'm so glad i can still have these moments. where my breath is taken away.
cuz it's magic, y'know? MAGIC!!! i mean, jesus you go through your day, right? and you feel alone. and you feel isolated. and then you hear a song....
stop.
stop reading.
do you know what i mean?
do you have that song? that song that makes you feel alright? that song that make you feel like you have an arm around you? i hope you do.
i don't know how i'd make it without that song.
or series of songs.

that's why i do this. part of it is narcissism, sure. i love to hear myself talk. but there's a reason, too. my problems are petty sure. people have it so much worse. but i like to tell you my problems and put a song to it. to show how our problems are universal. nothing we go through hasn't been gone through before.
there is company. there is a traveler. a song you can carry with you. a friend. you are not alone. there is a song for you. and you can't be alone with all this music in the air.